Quote Of The Week
Forgiving others is a process that takes time and effort. If you were abused by a parent, cheated on by a partner, or attacked by a stranger, forgiving the person who hurt you might seem impossible, and even unnecessary. This is especially true when the person that hurt you denies what they did, or isn’t even sorry. However, forgiveness isn’t something you do for them, it’s something you do for you. Forgiveness requires processing what occurred and how it impacted you, and finding a way to let go of the anger, pain, and desire for revenge. When you make peace with what happened, you can let it go and move on.
The decision to forgive others always starts with forgiving yourself. If you are struggling to forgive someone that hurt you, maybe you need to forgive yourself first. It’s possible that you blame yourself for ignoring obvious signs. Perhaps you were in the wrong place at the wrong time. There is also the possibility that even though you did nothing to cause what happened, you still struggle with guilt and shame. You might believe that you were hurt because there is something inherently wrong with who you are. While it might be hard to forgive yourself, doing so can be quite freeing and can improve your emotional well-being. Practicing self-forgiveness also enables you to extend that forgiveness to others.
Forgiveness is something you do for you, so you can let go and move on. Therefore, you do not have to tell the person that hurt you that you forgive them. If you want to let them know they are forgiven you can, but it is certainly not necessary. Sometimes, writing down what happened and what you want to say about it, can help you release it. You could write out what happened and how it impacted you. When you are ready, you can write out what forgiveness means to you and why you choose to forgive. You could give this to the person if that seems important, keep it for yourself, or destroy it as a way of symbolically releasing yourself from the pain. Writing it down can keep you clear on what forgiveness is and why it’s important to you, while also honoring the experience and the process.
