Quote Of The Week

We tend to think of communication as just being about expressing ourselves, but that’s really only half of it. It’s also just as important to know how to listen.

Being able to listen to your partner effectively means you’re able to better understand their perspective. It means you’re more likely to have constructive conversations where you feel your point of view is being considered. So many misunderstandings in relationships are caused by one or both partners feeling like they’re not being heard. Learning how to be a good listener can do so much to address this.

The challenge, of course, is that it’s easy to pick up bad listening habits, especially if you’ve never thought about how to be a good listener in much detail.

Sometimes, people joke about something because it’s easier than saying it openly. Or they might imply something, but not quite say it outright. They may even say the complete opposite of what they mean. Listening intelligently means looking out for the meaning behind your partners’ words – hearing not just what they’re saying, but what they’re trying to say. Asking open ended questions like ‘what was that like for you?’ is great way to open up the conversation further, as it will give your partner the chance to explain things in their own words, rather than having words put in their mouth.

It’s worth bearing in mind that listening is a skill, and it takes time to learn. Some of the above won’t necessarily feel that natural at first, and it will require persistence and practice before it becomes a habitat. However, if you stick with it, you’ll find it does get easier.